if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You pole danced in your parka.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
