Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
