His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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