It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
