with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
