at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
