Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
