That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
