Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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