real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
