is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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