Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
