Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My life is pants optional.
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