I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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