all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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