is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
