My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
and you fell through a lawn chair
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
