i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
