so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
