My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
