Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
