Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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