The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
