I hate your face
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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