I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
