you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
