Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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