I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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