the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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