Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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