Your face is a jimmy john
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
