i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
