My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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