My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
