By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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