Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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