Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
