My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
