i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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