why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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