How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i think i have two assholes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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