Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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