the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
