sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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