I wannas sexs uuuuu
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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