Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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