Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
