Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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