I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
