His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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